Dating Strategies and Tactics

To find a long term relationship, you must go after it. It probably isn't going to fall into your lap.

Here are some tips to improve your success.

1. You have to go after the one you want and then win them over. Be a friend - show attention, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation.

2. Satisfy emotional needs- show interest and listen to them. Spark a romantic emotion. Romance is a combination of hope with some doubt and it adds up to passion. People want
what they can't have.

3. The third part of love is respect. It is earned through your actions. You must show an independent and confident personality. You can live with them or without them. You are in no hurry and aren't desperate.

4. You really have to date several people at once. It will make you look like a great catch. When you have multiple options, anyone who wants to be with you will work much harder. Instead of you doing the chasing, they will be chasing you. This takes the pressure off of yourself. You really want to date a few people anyway before jumping from one long term relationship to another.

Dating Strategies to keep in mind:

You must be happy with yourself before you will have success. Be kind to yourself and turn off the negative thoughts. You can change what you can and forget the rest. Don't worry about things you can't change. If you can't change them, all the worry in the world wont do any good.

Set some goals and write them down. You must make a plan with a clear path you want to follow.

You must set aside a night each week to get out of the house. Go where others gather. Check the paper for ideas and get out there. How many people have you met at your house? Force yourself to go out anyway. It is only one night a week, you can still sit on the couch the other six nights. You aren't going to find new people unless you actually go out.

There are single and available people all over the place. Nearly every place you go, has single people if you LOOK. Start simple don't go after the hottest person(too much pressure). Talk to the average person, get a phone number and move on. It really is a simple two step process. Meet and greet, a short conversation with eye contact and then say Great meeting you, but I have got to run; could I get your number? The Key is to RELAX. The more you do this the easier it gets.

Take the initiative and be the first to show interest in them. It shows confidence. You are only trying to get that first date. Don't start fretting about your wedding and future children just yet. Keep it simple. But you must do it yourself, no one will do it for you. Don't let an opportunity pass by, get that phone number and go from there.

Rejection is part of the dating game. Don't take it personal, not everyone is going to want to date you. They may not be dating at all right now. You never know unless you ask. Don't be afraid of looking foolish, we all look foolish all the time. Use positive reactions in the face of rejection. You aren't worried if they say no. You asked and that is the most important thing. One more no means you
didn't waste your time and money on someone who isn't even interested. Plus you are just closer to finding the one who is interested. It is all practice and will make you a master at dating that much quicker.

Get out of the house and start looking tonight.

A Beginners Guide To Online Dating - 5 Great Tips!

Did you know that two out of five single people in the UK now use some kind of on line dating service? That's 40% of all singles! Unfortunately, the percentage of these people who actually find a real romance as a direct result of their site memberships is very low - probably less than 10%.

Why is this? Well, it's true that some sites are better than others; they have more traffic, they are better to navigate; they just 'work' whilst others just don't. But what really matters is how you use a site when you actually sign-up to one. Take my word for it, unless you take the five simple steps that I'm about to outline, you may as well do something more productive with your time than join a singles site. What I'm about to say may sound obvious and rather simplistic, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't bother doing the 'obvious'. So here goes...

1. Create A Great Profile. This is the most important aspect of your dating site experience. Don't just say 'Nice guy seeks nice girl for trips to the cinema' - how boring does that sound? Take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. And remember to sound happy, upbeat, fun and confident; if you're miserable about your recent breakup, then keep it to yourself! This isn't the time for modesty; if you think you're pretty darn attractive, then be sure to say so. And humors is a real ice-breaker - if you can make someone laugh, they'll be more likely to want to contact you.

2. Always Upload A Photo. Even if you don't have a very flattering one to hand, you should always post a picture with your profile. Remember, 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of them. You want to see what other potential partners look like so it stands to reason that other people will want to know what you look like too. If your photo isn't recent or isn't a great likeness of you, you can always say so in your profile.

3. Be Proactive. Don't just join a site and expect other people to contact you. Make sure you regularly search the database for people with whom you might be compatible and when you find someone you like the look or sound of, write to them immediately and tell them why you think you might be a good fit.

4. Write Great Emails. OK, you've joined a dating site, you've searched for other members who fall within your specified categories, and you've been presented with a page of matching profiles. You're eager to fire off a few emails...but what on earth do you say in them? Re-read the paragraph above about creating a great profile and apply the same rules to the first email that you send to another member. If it looks like you can't be bothered to say much or that you're sending the same one line message to several people, then they probably won’t bother to reply. Tell that person a little about who you are and why you think you might both be compatible - respond directly to what you've read in that person's profile - sound interested and interesting and you'll get an email by return – sound boring and downbeat and you'll just be ignored.

5. Check Back With The Site. There are two reasons why you should do this as often as possible. The most obvious one is to keep up to speed with who has joined since you last logged-on; that special someone might have signed-up since you last visited the site so don't miss out. However, what most people don't realize is that when you log-in to a dating site, your profile moves up the listings on the internal search engine which means that you are more likely to be spotted and subsequently contacted by other people. Don't be a stranger to the site you've joined and I recommending that you visit the site at least once a day during the lifetime of your membership.

So there you have it - 5 easy ways to make your chosen dating site work for YOU. Have fun and happy hunting!

Overcoming Fear of Rejection

Facing fears of rejection

I believe the best way to overcoming fear of rejection is knowing all of us at some stage have had a fear of rejection.

This is the first thing I believe in overcoming fear of rejection. That is knowing we are all so human that all of us feel vulnerable at times.

We keep going back, stronger, not weaker, because we will not allow rejection to beat us down. It will only strengthen our resolve. To be successful there is no other way. - Earl G. Graves

So let me ask you a question - if your purpose in Flirting is to make someone else feel good, can you be rejected? At the very worse, you may have not succeeded, but you cannot feel rejected if that is your purpose?

My strongest belief is no-one has the power to decide if we are rejected, only we can make that decision.

The second aspect is there are a lot of people who have acquired defense mechanisms, their own way to avoid feeling rejected or feeling hurt.

Defense Mechanisms

If someone chooses to avoid us, to ignore us or even be rude to us, chances are they exhibit the same behaviour to others. If that is the case, how can we feel rejected?

Dear to us are those who love us. . . but dearer are those who reject us as unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

But what if I really really like that sexy guy or girl? I hear you ask.

This brings us to the third aspect. Sometimes we just cannot control how others will react or make decisions about us.

Deciding not to be rejected

If you do feel rejected by a decision made by another person, promise me one thing.

Promise me you will focus on controlling how you feel and not focus on the other person.

I feel it is only ourselves who choose to feel rejected rather than others rejecting us. I have no doubt you have not felt rejected when someone looked past you or ignored you in the past. Its just you did not care as much. The emotional intensity was just not there.

One of the big factors is the emotional intensity involved. Now we have to lower that emotional intensity. So how do we do that?

We can start by listing the reasons we are a good friend, a good lover, a good mum or dad, or daughter or son.

If you are rejected by someone, who are they to make a decision on your behalf?, it is only you who makes the decision on being rejected.

The following I believe is a very good article on rejection by Tony Robbins my favourite coach in the world. I think it's very worthwhile.

Overcoming fear of rejection summary

To summarise, overcoming fear of rejection is as follows:

1. All of us have had fear of rejection

2. People's defense mechanism to avoid rejection can be to reject us first.

3. Focus on you making the decision not to be rejected. After all it's not their decision.

Hope this helps