Overcoming Fear of Rejection

Facing fears of rejection

I believe the best way to overcoming fear of rejection is knowing all of us at some stage have had a fear of rejection.

This is the first thing I believe in overcoming fear of rejection. That is knowing we are all so human that all of us feel vulnerable at times.

We keep going back, stronger, not weaker, because we will not allow rejection to beat us down. It will only strengthen our resolve. To be successful there is no other way. - Earl G. Graves

So let me ask you a question - if your purpose in Flirting is to make someone else feel good, can you be rejected? At the very worse, you may have not succeeded, but you cannot feel rejected if that is your purpose?

My strongest belief is no-one has the power to decide if we are rejected, only we can make that decision.

The second aspect is there are a lot of people who have acquired defense mechanisms, their own way to avoid feeling rejected or feeling hurt.

Defense Mechanisms

If someone chooses to avoid us, to ignore us or even be rude to us, chances are they exhibit the same behaviour to others. If that is the case, how can we feel rejected?

Dear to us are those who love us. . . but dearer are those who reject us as unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

But what if I really really like that sexy guy or girl? I hear you ask.

This brings us to the third aspect. Sometimes we just cannot control how others will react or make decisions about us.

Deciding not to be rejected

If you do feel rejected by a decision made by another person, promise me one thing.

Promise me you will focus on controlling how you feel and not focus on the other person.

I feel it is only ourselves who choose to feel rejected rather than others rejecting us. I have no doubt you have not felt rejected when someone looked past you or ignored you in the past. Its just you did not care as much. The emotional intensity was just not there.

One of the big factors is the emotional intensity involved. Now we have to lower that emotional intensity. So how do we do that?

We can start by listing the reasons we are a good friend, a good lover, a good mum or dad, or daughter or son.

If you are rejected by someone, who are they to make a decision on your behalf?, it is only you who makes the decision on being rejected.

The following I believe is a very good article on rejection by Tony Robbins my favourite coach in the world. I think it's very worthwhile.

Overcoming fear of rejection summary

To summarise, overcoming fear of rejection is as follows:

1. All of us have had fear of rejection

2. People's defense mechanism to avoid rejection can be to reject us first.

3. Focus on you making the decision not to be rejected. After all it's not their decision.

Hope this helps